A Poem, No More Pins

I wrote this poem yesterday, and it is written from an interesting perspective. It is a doll that knows its purpose but does not want to be punished for wrongdoings anymore.

I anticipate the pins
Sharp with pain, it pierces me
Now the healing begins
My lips sewn shut but still I plea
I don’t want to feel this pain
I see the hand approach to punish again
With all my might, I strain
I’ll continue to grow my disdain
Ironic that I am the enforcer of revenge
I breathe in all the hate my lungs can hold
Through my pain and suffering, I’ll avenge
Through my eyes, I can watch your demise unfold
I am not a doll but an effigy to punish thee
Please stop doing wrong; I do not want pins in me


Let me know what you think!
Thanks for reading!
Travis

Travis J. McRoy 2021 All Rights Reserved

A Poem, The Devil Won’t Come Here

I wrote this poem a few months back and figured it was worth a share. It focuses on the topic of the devil preying on the weak and hurting. If we remain strong in our faith through our trials and tribulations, we can continue to keep the devil away.

A crack of thunder as a crimson color rains
The river is as red as sin
Perhaps a knife opened up the skies veins
The devil is here, but I won’t let him in
I retreat to my safe place, clutching my cross so tight
It is not enough this time as I trek out into the crimson world
I can feel the devil lurking behind me, snickering at my plight
I breach the door of the church, keeping my mind furled
I sit in silence; the devil is not here
I pick up the book that was sitting next to me
A hymn breaks out in unison as I clutch the bible near
I breathe a sigh of relief, unburdened and stress-free
The devil won’t come here, in this place I dwell
I’ll continue to pray, forcing him back to hell

Let me know what you think!
Thanks,
Travis

Travis J. McRoy 2021 All Rights Reserved

A Poem, Escape The Room

Dramatis Personae: Six perfect strangers in search of an exit from an obscure little room.
Setting: A random room in the middle of Nowhereville, they should have read the signpost up ahead because they would know that they have just ventured into “The Twilight Zone”— sorry, couldn’t resist, haha!

This is no ordinary room; it is bountiful with hidden treasures that will surely spell their demise.

The phone! Screamed the woman with accusing eyes
A brilliant flash as a man turned to dust
The window! Screamed the woman as another dies
The woman shows her benevolence; it is me you can trust
We must work together, now turn on that light
The group hesitates before making the move
Another life was wasted as they huddle in fright
I’ll tell you how to escape, your loyalty you must prove
We are but three, but we will live
That camera has been watching us
Unplug it, so there is no pleasure to give
Another life lost as the remaining two discuss
The camera can’t see, it’s the door we should try
A man’s shaky hand reaches for the door
While the woman hides from the blast as the plan goes awry
The woman stands and apologies for all of the gore
You all followed sheepishly; I gave you no reason to trust me
But your deaths are not in vain, for now, I am free

This was a tale of survival and the personification of cunningness.
Sometimes it takes an indomitable will to survive.

Let me know what you think!
Thanks,
Travis

Travis J. McRoy 2021 All Rights Reserved

An Intimate Look at the Mental and Physical Aspects of the Fitness of Life

**Right off the bat, I’ll add the disclaimer that there are two shirtless pics in this blog. I don’t want anyone who may read this to be caught off guard by the pics. They are used to depict a past version of myself and the journey back to that version.

I’ve been debating on whether or not to share this post for a while now. According to my admin page, since 1/18, to be exact. I published once before and pulled it within the hour, so this is my second attempt. It’s all mental, I know. However, I still struggle with opening up on certain topics, and this particular topic is an important one to me.



This blog is an intimate look at me as an individual and the path I have traveled. Albeit it is a condensed version, it still is quite personal and will give you some insight into what makes me tick.

In 2006 my way of life changed forever. I was in the best shape of my life. I was beginning to prep for body building competition when I decided to go a different route. I declared 2006 to be “my year.” However, something happened that changed everything for me.

I no longer felt invincible. I no longer felt unstoppable. My years of preparation leading up to my best year were all in vain. My body had just broken down on me.

This was a picture of me that my wife took in 2006:

I was in peak physical condition as I prepared to step onto the football field once again after recovering from a lower back injury. The season started off with a bang. Everything was going perfectly. My redemption was finally imminent. Everything for me physically was going well, but I noticed that my body was not adjusting to the physical trauma/toll of playing football. I kept encouraging myself, saying, “it’ll come back.”

As the weeks progressed, the physical toll did not ease up. I immediately knew something was wrong. I had shortness of breath but felt fine otherwise. The shortness of breath had gotten worse. I finally decided to shut things down.

Admitting Something Is Wrong

Growing up in sports, you tend to shake smaller injuries aside and continue on with life. Most sports have a “next man up” mentality, so having that methodology imprinted on my brain, I decided to deal with my injuries in a private manner. I was not ready to quit just yet and continued playing football, unable to swallow my pride and admit injury. However, I did decide to call the doctor and describe the feeling I was having, to which he immediately set me up for an appointment.

The biggest fear was a punctured lung. I went to get x-rays because he was confident it was a punctured lung.

The test results were in, and they showed no punctured lung, but he noticed fluid in my lungs as he looked over the x-rays.

I remember his phone call asking me how I was feeling, and then he told me he needed to see me again immediately.

After doing a throat culture, he wanted me to do the usual “turn your head and cough” as he listened to my lungs.

I paused for a moment and then told him, “coughing hurts.”

Naturally, he wanted me to elaborate, so I finally let him in on additional health issues that I was hiding from him.

At this point, my body had already broken down. I couldn’t pick my arms up above my head, I couldn’t turn my head, and I showed him that I had a winged scapula. He then asked what I’ve been doing, and I said, “playing football.”

He looked at me and said, “not anymore.”

I could tell the seriousness in his tone and did not challenge his words.

He was writing up a referral to have everything looked over when I asked, “what about working out? Can I still do that?”

He stopped and thought about the question for a split second, “stop everything. This is pretty serious.”

I hung my head. The stuff I loved doing was just yanked out from under me. I started questioning why I waited so long? Why did I handle it so carelessly?

I went to an orthopedic surgeon. He thoroughly investigated everything and was blunt with how I should proceed.

He said, “no surgery if you stop right now.”

I asked, “stop what football?”

“Yes, you are done with football unless you want to be paralyzed down the road.”

He had diagnosed me with a severe cervical sprain/strain and severe nerve damage in my neck. He compared the damage done to my neck to that of a severe car crash. I knew he was an excellent doctor as he knew details that I had not shared with him to this point.

He said, “the numbness you feel. I know you are experiencing it in your fingers and all-around your body. It will not go away unless you stop right now.”

So I promised him I would stop everything for the time being.

I told him the only physical activity I’ll do will be PT when it comes time.

I was done playing games when I realized what I had just done to my body.

On top of all of that, my MD called back, letting me know that the fluid in my lungs was due to walking pneumonia and bronchitis.

From that day on, I stopped everything. I let my gym membership expire, and I walked away from football. I was facing an unknown future.

Reality set in for me a couple of years later as depression began to sink in. I didn’t replace my favorite activities with anything. I just sat around eating, watched television, and went to work. My weight ballooned, making my depression even worse. All said and done I had a nearly 50lb weight gain.

This is a pic of me with my newborn son during that time.

The Wake Up Call I needed

I ran into a good friend that I haven’t talked to in a few years. Not hearing from him for a while wasn’t from a lack of trying. It turns out he was unavailable because he had joined the military. He said, “wow, you grew out a bit there.” He went on to say he wasn’t used to seeing me in that type of shape. Again, this is a good friend who would never mince words and freely tell me what he was seeing.

After that encounter, I kept thinking of his transformation in his life. He had always struggled with his weight but got sick of it and joined the military, completely changing his life. I was utterly blown away by this encounter.

I started thinking of things that I can physically do because I could feel my life continuing to slip as I sat in depression. I got thinking that I can get outside and enjoy nature as my body healed. I gave my newborn son all of my attention but still something wasn’t right with my mindset.

It’s a Mentality and a Mindset

In order to correct my behavior, I needed to understand it and get control of it. If I attempted to get my life back in order physically, not fixing the destructive behaviors would ultimately lead to failure.

I ran with this little trickle of optimism. I was beginning to feel renewed.

A quote from Confucius became my mantra to aid me in my ambitious attempt at a return :

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Month after month, I continued exercising by jogging, running, and going for hikes. I was starting to feel like myself again. Working out was such a big part of my life because the endorphins it releases works wonders on a person’s mental health—I was feeling this feeling again.

Football was becoming a distant memory for me, and I was okay with that fact now. I had made my peace with it.

I started wondering if God was guiding me towards a different path for me to travel. I ran with that thought and enrolled myself in college.

I was also now a father and a husband as I shifted my focus to having a family.

Fast forward six years, and I now have two degrees and graduated with great honors/magna cum laude. I realized this is the path I was meant to take.

I was always meant to use my brain over my brawn, but I just never embraced it.

Maybe I never needed football at all?
What if I can return to the gym now?

I had so many thoughts and questions to ask my doctor.

After a short visit, my doctor was perfectly fine with me returning to physical workouts so long as I listened to my body this time.

I felt different this time around. Armed with better knowledge of my limits, I attacked the gym ferociously.

After several months back at the gym, I felt confident enough to take a picture of myself. Something I avoided doing for almost a decade!

The Reveal…
This is me in 2020:

When everything happened back in 2006, I thought my life was over. I wanted to quit, and I wanted to give up and hide. For some reason, though, I didn’t, and I genuinely believe it is because I kept up my faith. I didn’t travel the traditional path to get to my destination, but I still did arrive.

I realized that time had no bearing on me. For the longest time, I thought I lost a decade of my best years, but the truth is, I didn’t miss out at all. I put my brain to use instead of my brawn. It was as if God was telling me to take a break. I listened and do not regret it one bit.

I hope this blog helps anyone who may be going through a similar transition in their lives. It was important to get both the physical and mental parts of me in check and in sync to boost my self motivation and self esteem. My goal was to motivate and help you understand that just because one door closes on an opportunity doesn’t mean that another one won’t open. When that door does open for you, take it, do not be afraid of the unknowns.

Thanks for reading!

Travis

A Poem, The Ill-fated Astronaut

Dramatis Personae: A 40’s something astronaut and his escape pod, which is now his coffin of sorts.
Setting: Deep space

This poem follows the last few moments of an astronaut on an ill-fated space mission. Out of desperation, he rushed to an escape pod. Due to an explosion of the shuttle, the pod’s trajectory was thrown off course.

Mission control, I’m off course
Were the last words that I spoke
I float in space with no chance of recourse
A victim of fate’s cruel practical joke
Two hours of battery life remains
I smother the hunger pains with my pills
The silence of space so deafening, my mind strains
My lips crack as blood fills
One hour left, as I hear the chime
I press a picture of my family against my lips
Understanding that I am now on borrowed time
Hallucinations from the pills as my mind slips
The time has come, as darkness falls
Desolation is now my bride
The escape pod judders and stalls
Aimlessly through space, I shall glide
The welcoming sight of a black hole
At least the devil won’t get my soul

Let me know what you think!
Thanks for reading!
Travis

Travis J. McRoy 2021 All Rights Reserved

A Poem, Together

This poem depicts the need of having someone to help fight your battles. Someone who can pick you up when you fall. It’s always good to have that type of support to lean on when faced with such tribulations. We all need that “rock” in our lives, so in short, this poem was written as a dedication.

You face the world in your mask of lies
Nothing is right in the world that you feel
You look in the mirror to perfect your disguise
I offer you relief from the pain you conceal
I won’t let you fall on your sword
You cling to exist on a cliff of despair
I’ll restore faith in this life you adored
With your emotions fogging the air
Undo the weights and chains in your mind
Let me take your vexations of life away
Together we have the strength to unbind
It’s time to wake your soul and return to the fray
Let’s feast upon your fears and doubts tonight
It’s time to bark back and stand up and fight

Let me know what you think!
Thanks for reading!
Travis

Travis J. McRoy 2021 All Rights Reserved

A Poem, Cast No Shadow

I put this poem together a few months ago. This chronicles a person struggling with his sanity, but we soon learn why at the end of the poem. The person casts no shadow, and it is really beginning to wear him down mentally.

The sun stares at me like an accusing eye
The moon by happenstance, my abettor
My shadow left me alone to die
I did nothing wrong, but no shadow to fetter
Abject cowardice from my faceless entity
My sanity toils to remain
But I refuse to absolve my identity
Despite the hate and disdain
I see passing shadows, but none are mine
I walk along with them to camouflage my loss
Embracing the lie that I am fine
I beg and pray and kiss the holy cross
I am but a ghost; I cast no shadow on the walls
I’ll continue to walk this world until my God calls

Let me know what you think!
Thanks for reading!
Travis

Travis J. McRoy 2021 All Rights Reserved

A Poem, Love’s End

This was a pretty heavy poem to write. I can’t say that I have ever been in a relationship depicted in the poem, but I can relate to the emotions of it all. We all have the relationship battles that we fight throughout our lives. In a story I wrote, two characters constantly fell in and out of love. So you’ll notice the heaviness of that aspect throughout the poem, but then it takes a turn where they come back to each other. I won’t lie; I can be an emotional writer, so I did tear up a bit writing this poem. I thought of someone that I couldn’t live without to evoke my emotions.

If you love me, let me go
Last words as we depart
Tears flow as we say we know
A love too strong to tear apart
Rip the veins of memories from my skin
We broke our hearts against our hate
As I wake to scream, just let me in
Picking up the pieces, we crumble under the weight
We both lie to maintain control
Our hate started as love
I need your touch to console
But you push me away with a shove
We breakdown because it’s loves end
But it’s our love that will transcend

Let me know what you think!
Thanks for reading!

Travis

Travis J. McRoy 2021 All Rights Reserved.

A Poem, Pandora’s Box

A little Greek Mythology anyone?
How about Pandora’s box?

I can remember learning about the Greek myth of Pandora’s box back in high school and thinking, “Wow, what an interesting myth.”
Long story short, Pandora was sculpted from clay by the Greek God Hephaestus and was purposely given deceitful gifts by the Gods to punish mankind. She was given a box but was told never to open it. Zeus knew she would open it because she was bestowed an unquenchable thirst of curiosity. She opened the box and released illness and hardships but closed it too soon, leaving hope trapped inside.

I put together a poem depicting the events…

Crafted by the Gods, the image of perfection
Her beauty one to behold
As she admires her reflection
This is a tale of curiosity pushed beyond its threshold
Adorned with gifts from the Gods, all seems well
Pandora admires her treasures with delight
A punishment to all mankind, her curiosity can’t quell
This box aesthetically pleasing her thoughts benight
One little peek in the box would surely be fine
It holds great gifts, and I am the bearer of all gifts
What is inside the box was meant to be mine
With a creak and a crack, the box top lifts
Illness and hardship rushed to the outside
With great fright, Pandora’s box slammed shut, leaving hope inside

Let me know what you think!
Thanks for reading!
Travis

Travis J. McRoy 2021 All Rights Reserved.

A Poem, The Pharaoh’s Curse

I’ve always had a huge interest in Ancient Egypt. So many enigmatic things surrounding the entire civilization. One of those enigmatic things, for me, is The Pharaoh’s curse. It was quite clear with a dire warning to not disturb the tombs.

The speculation of the curse intensified after the opening of King Tutankhamun’s tomb. All of the individuals who were present during the opening of the tomb, passed away from odd circumstances. The deaths, while unfortunate, I am sure, are hyperbole and have since been dismissed with some logic and science. Nonetheless, it is still an interesting topic to me.

I was just watching a documentary covering the curse of the pharaohs and decided to remain naïve a bit and write a fun little poem about the curse.

The eye of Horus watches over me
My tomb adorned with gifts
I sleep, but the eye can still see
The walls shake as the sand drifts
Shadows enter my tomb
With great haste, lust takes
Cementing their doom
As the curse now wakes
Bathed in my treasures
The shadows see no plight
For they came for pleasures
But the curse now will fight
My curse took the lives of four
Come back for my treasures, and it’ll surely take more

Let me know what you think!
Thanks for reading!
Travis

Travis J. McRoy 2021 All Rights Reserved.